Tag Archives: Dancing

Don’t think we can’t see you

I wanted to give some party/club goers a little food for thought:

Just because you don’t make eye contact with us, doesn’t mean we can’t see you. (I’ll get back to this in a moment)

A few weeks ago myself and some girlfriends from high school went out to celebrate Andrea’s bachelorette (the wedding is on the 3rd of July…really excited). It was rainy yet wonderfully hot so we all were in a great mood. After enjoying a few pints and listening to a local artist an amazing decision was made to go to a dance club so that we could pull out our A moves.

See A moves:

Next: Please notice the couple behind my beautiful friend Amie.

1) They are holding hands

2) If you could see her face, she was a little mortified…but into it

3) He’s whispering in her ear

4) They are trying to act cool and as if no one could notice them…EVERYONE noticed them

Now what you don’t see, is that at one point it appeared as though her skirt hiked up and his pants unzipped. What’s that all about? There we were at Ange’s Bach party dancing our tail feathers off when we looked over and witnessed gross ‘public private touching’.

The thing is – and what scares me a little – I think this may be a common practice for some people, young people in particular. I think this because no one was all that surprised, not one of us. We all just laughed really hard and thought it would probably be some good content.

So, to all those risk takers and ‘public private touchers’…maybe find a corner? a bathroom stall perhaps? Because my young friends if you’re on the dance floor – we can see you, we all can see you.

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When I was their age…

Somehow over the last few years, I’ve managed to put a halo over my head in most of my memories from my early 20s.  The truth is…maybe my halo wasn’t as levitated as I thought it was, and maybe I had some devil horns as well.

This past Saturday I celebrated ‘Spontaneous Saturday’. It was the first Saturday in a long time, that I had no plans, and was open to doing whatever.

After a 2 hour dance lesson (I’m working on a goodbye Tango because I’m leaving my dance studio), I went home, got dolled up and met up with my friend Reesa at the St. Lawrence Market. We reminisced about how we met in high school and all of the people that we have in common, went for some drinks, had an appetizer, and sent ourselves home at a nice hour before we got out of hand – it was 7:00pm after all.

I touched base with my friend Annie to check out the plan and was on the fence about going out that evening. It took one more call from her and the peer pressure broke me and I was on board.

We headed to the bar around 11:30pm. When we got there, we made our way through the swarms of youngin’s (19-24) and stood near the end of the bar and watched as these two girls danced on the bar as if they were getting paid to do it.  Looking like they stepped right out of The Hill’s, these girls went to town on the bar. They had these cute, scandalous, mini dresses on that were so tight, that I asked Annie if she thought they had panties on.

Her response – she looked up, smirked and said “well…we’re about to find out”. I turned around and the girls were squatting on the bar while making licking faces at strange boys.

What’s that about? These girls were on a train straight to Sexytown, and I had Spanx on. Yes…I just admitted that – I felt like a whale when I was getting dressed, so I cheated. Is this the difference between them and me? I thought to myself. Am I such a grandma now that I go to a club wearing SPANX? – Apparently!

In truth, in my younger years, I was a wee bit wilder than I am now (I only got Spanx for this amazingly tight ‘Joanie from Mad Men’ type dress).

Confessions:

1) I’ve danced on many-a-bar, but I was not on the Sexytown train. I love dancing. Technically, I’m a dancer. If I’ve ever been sexy while dancing, it was a)  a joke (I tend to find myself funny),  or b) not on purpose.

2) I’ve taken pole-dancing lessons and I want to take more. BUT that does not mean that I’m going to put on a serious show in front of people.

3) If I’m dancing with a dude who can actually dance, I’ll get into it. But it’s for the love of dance, not for the sake of ‘picking-up’.

However, it wasn’t just the ladies, men too felt were feeling all sexed up that night. They all seemed to have the need to touch you as you walked by them. Caress your arm, reach out for your stomach, use every “you’re beautiful” line in the book. Pretty much, 90% of the people at the bar had one main goal.

Get laid, and get laid tonight.

At first I was all in a huff about all of the ‘out-there’ sex that EVERYONE was exerting at the bar that night, but then I took my halo covered glasses off and realized I was full of BS. They were a little more out there (well, a lot more) than I was, but they were no worse than the American girls I’d see when I worked at a bar in Windsor. That’s for damn sure!

The mating dance

On a typical Saturday night ladies everywhere gather up their girls and head out for a big night on the town. Nights on the town usually include the double D’s – dancing and drinking. For us women, the first two steps of a night out are often combined: 1) Getting ready – ladies may do this on their own, or they may congregate at one girl’s house where they get all dolled up together. 2) Pre-drink:  drinks at the bar are expensive as we know. Pre-drinks often involve: obnoxious laughter, one friend being the designated make-up artist, and shots that are usually disgusting.

The next step is getting a cab, arriving at the bar/club, grabbing a drink and heading to the flo’.

Commence the ‘mating dance’

This is where the magic happens. This is where we pull out moves we haven’t done since we were sixteen, where the shy girls no longer seem shy, and the booties are a’bouncin.

‘Semi’ approach:

Step 1) Boy approaches girl, they dance

Step 2) Boy thinks it’s appropriate to press his ‘semi’ on girls leg

Step 3) Girl runs away

***Disclaimer – the  attached pictures are not of a dude using the ‘semi’ approach – he was just trying to grind.

Okokok. What’s that all about? I’m sure that the placement of ‘bone on thigh’ has worked in the past on some girl, but odds are, the lady that your dancing with is a lady and does not want that to happen. I realize that men are always hopeful that they will be getting lucky after the bar, but come on fella’s…there are better moves than that.

Examples: the Robot, the chainsaw, the lawnmower – I’d put money on it that these moves will give you a better chance with the ladies.

At least, if you’re going to keep using the ‘semi’ approach, wait till you have an inkling that she’s into it.

3 signs that she’s into it:

1) She places her bum near the ‘semi’

2) She tries to make out with your face but misses

3) She has EASY stamped on her forehead