Tag Archives: Family

Flashing before my eyes

I assume that reading this title you are thinking that I’m going to write about someone dropping their pants in front of me. This is not the case.

This  story is literally about a moment in my life when my life flashed before my eyes.

I was driving along highway 401, on my way to pick up my friend Melissa so that we could head up for a nice winter weekend in Muskoka. When I got to the exit for the 407 (the fast toll highway), I noticed that there was a car in the ditch and there was a tow truck driver working on getting the car out.

So because it was snowing a bit, and their was snow on the highway, I decided it would be a good idea to switch lanes to give them room. BAD IDEA!!!

My car spun out. What’s that all about? I was trying to be a cautious driver.

It did about a 900°. When It finally stopped spinning, I looked up and their was a transport truck heading straight for me.

As I faced the semi heading straight at me, my entire life flashed before my eyes – my friends, my family, my stupid ex-boyfriends, my cat, the cottage, summer…the list went on and on.

Luckily, the truck ended up missing my car by about 2 feet. IT WAS INSANE.

In what felt like an hour (probably about 30s) the tow truck driver who was helping the other guy walked over to my car, opened my door and said:

“You just made me S*$% my pants”

I responded:

“I think I just S*$% my own pants”

Neither of us actually had an accident, but if we did, I wouldn’t have judged either of us.

Neither should you – Judgy McJudgerson!

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30, too old for dress up?

As the booming clock of 30 ticks-ticks-ticks in my ears, I find I have things in my life that I enjoy doing that I’m not sure I can do anymore. At 30, you’re supposed to be mature. At 30, you’re supposed to know exactly what you want to do with your life. At 30, (if you’re from where I’m from) you should have a house, a husband, and a baby in your belly. What’s that all about? I mean, we live till were in our 90’s now, do I really have to start a family now?

Holy f-balls, I’m scared of 30.

Reason number 1) I find box jokes, ball jokes and any joke or pun relating to those jokes really funny. I watch Family Guy daily.

Really, I just love bad jokes. Here’s a good one for you from my dear friend Robin (the one who gave me the name Jennyus):

What do you do when a bird poops on your window on a first date?………..Don’t ask her out again.

Reason number 2) Other than the fact that I know I want to be successful, I have no idea how or in what way I will accomplish this. Top 31 under 31…do they have that?

Reason number 3) Babies – NOT ANYTIME SOON!!!

And what about the fact that I still love playing dress-up. It’s one of my favourite things to do. Any reason for a costume and I’m down. Costume parties, Halloween…New Years Eve – any excuse.

In all honesty, sometimes I like to dress up while I do my household chores…is there really something wrong with that? So what if I start to clean my room and I end up wearing all my jewelery with a pound of make-up on? Are we really not allowed to do this anymore?

World’s smallest fence

On the other side of this fence was the world’s smallest house and the world’s smallest family.

Hi-de-ho neighbour!

What’s that all about?

Here’s a little homage to the original Wilson: