Tag Archives: Friends

Nothing like getting pants’d

My 21st birthday was quite a series of fortunate and unfortunate events.

Fortunate:

  • My godparents gave me the best bottle of Champers I’ve had to date!
  • My friends from Windsor drove up to see me
  • My roommates hosted a mini-pre party before the real party
  • My boyfriend at the time (Darren) came up with a childhood friend of mine (let’s call him Carl Fyons)
  • We had a million people sleep over because the party was so good, including my roommates brother Jack

Unfortunate:

  • I was diagnosed with Mono that afternoon
  • When helping my boyfriend unpack the car, I took out bags that belonged to his friends that drove him to Guelph – they were on their way to a wedding near Toronto, and I took their suits on them…oops
  • Jack pants’d me
  • Carl Fyons saw my bird

So, because I had Mono, my boyfriend and I took off early from the bar to go to bed. When everyone came home they were all loud, drunk and still rowdy, so I went up to see how the rest of the night was.

Jack was passed out on one of the three couches in our living room, so I stood in front of him and was talking to the girls and Carl. Then all of a sudden, I felt a tug on my PJ’s and my pants were on the floor. I got pants’d. What’s that all about? Who pants a girl? Apparently Jack does.

With my bare bottom in Jack’s face and my lady parts exposed to the girls and Carl, I pulled my t-shirt down, sat on the couch and yelled to the room “Carl Fyons saw my bird”.

I wasn’t mad that Jack pants’d me, in truth it was really funny. But c’mon, who pants a girl?

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Flashing before my eyes

I assume that reading this title you are thinking that I’m going to write about someone dropping their pants in front of me. This is not the case.

This  story is literally about a moment in my life when my life flashed before my eyes.

I was driving along highway 401, on my way to pick up my friend Melissa so that we could head up for a nice winter weekend in Muskoka. When I got to the exit for the 407 (the fast toll highway), I noticed that there was a car in the ditch and there was a tow truck driver working on getting the car out.

So because it was snowing a bit, and their was snow on the highway, I decided it would be a good idea to switch lanes to give them room. BAD IDEA!!!

My car spun out. What’s that all about? I was trying to be a cautious driver.

It did about a 900°. When It finally stopped spinning, I looked up and their was a transport truck heading straight for me.

As I faced the semi heading straight at me, my entire life flashed before my eyes – my friends, my family, my stupid ex-boyfriends, my cat, the cottage, summer…the list went on and on.

Luckily, the truck ended up missing my car by about 2 feet. IT WAS INSANE.

In what felt like an hour (probably about 30s) the tow truck driver who was helping the other guy walked over to my car, opened my door and said:

“You just made me S*$% my pants”

I responded:

“I think I just S*$% my own pants”

Neither of us actually had an accident, but if we did, I wouldn’t have judged either of us.

Neither should you – Judgy McJudgerson!

Sign says don’t walk, definitely don’t walk.

With the new ‘no cell phones while driving’ law starting tomorrow, what I’m about to tell you is quite relevant.

This sign clearly says stop. That’s the opposite of go.

As I was walking home yesterday I decided to call a friend to see how she was feeling.  I was walking and dialing with my head down staring at my cell phone. I walked quickly as I  headed towards my apartment when  POW I smacked face first into the pole of the stop sign at the intersection. That’s right; I walked fast, face first into the stop sign. I picked up my phone, looked back in a panic to make sure my friends didn’t see that and then walked briskly to my apartment. While walking I noticed that I was bleeding and there was this poor girl waiting in the lobby  and she said to me “Are you ok? Do you need to go to the hospital?, so I told her that I was OK, and that I was just stupid.

I got to my apartment and  I woke up my new roommate (oh yeah… she moved in that day).

What it all boils down to, is that on the first night my new roommate moved in, I came home bleeding, maybe needing to go to the hospital because I walked into a stop sign. What’s that all about? Who does that?

That said – if you can’t walk while dialing, then you definitely can not drive while dialing.

Sign said stop…I stopped. My face hurts.

Friends or faux?

In 1998 to 2000, I rocked boy short hair. Why would I do that? My friends would always tell me how “good” I looked with short hair. What’s that all about? I looked horrible. I think they all secretly hated me. See below:

Just kidding. I had great friends…just a terrible haircut.

Hollywood crushes

Win a Date with Tad Hamilton was on last night. Not sure if you’ve seen that movie, but it is one of my all time favourite teen movies:

As I watched the movie, I realized, I’m totally crazy. My crush on Tad (a.k.a Josh Duhamel) is like a serious high school crush. I can envision us meeting, hitting it off, getting married. Seriously, I’m crazy.

So, I thought I should share my Hollywood list of crushes.

1) Leonardo DiCaprio – Since the day Kirk Cameron brought him home on Growing Pains, Luke has and always will have a special place in my heart.

2) Paul Walker – The quarterback from Varsity Blues. So dreamy.

3) Josh Hartnett – From Pearl Harbour to 40 Days and 40 Nights. He can look at you (technically the camera) and honesty pours out of his eyes.

4) Josh Duhamel – You saw the Tad Hamilton link…you know what I’m talking about. He could be the devil and I’d still believe everything he said.

5) Last but not least Jared Leto – My So Called Crush

Anyway, the point of this, is that I’m a grown up (at least, I’m supposed to be one) and every time I see any of these men I begin to day dream about my future with them. Seriously, what’s that all about? I’m pretty sure I should let go of the dream, but I just can’t.  I like to think that 85% of people are in the same boat – I saw that episode of Friends with the list of 5.

Rachel: Oh, I don’t know. I guess… Chris O’Donnel, John F. Kennedy, Jr., Daniel Day Lewis, Sting, and Parker Stevenson.
Ross: Spiderman?
Rachel: Hardy Boy.
Chandler: Peter Parker.
Ross: Thank you.

Ross: Okay, I’m done with my choices. These are final.
Rachel: Well, it’s about time.
Joey: Oo, very official.
Ross: Oh, yeah, well, ya know, Chandler printed it up on his computer.
Monica: And who laminated it?
Ross: That was me.
Rachel: Alright, let me see. Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, Elizabeth Hurely, Michelle Pfieffer, and… Dorothy Hammill?
Ross: Hey, it’s my list.
Rachel: Okay, honey, you do realize she only spins like that on ice.