Tag Archives: Jen Woodall

Word vomit

As I’ve mentioned before, I have little-to-no inner thought. I say most of what I think. This can be good, this can be bad, this can be embarrassing and sometimes, just sometimes this can be funny.

About five years ago I was at a party with people who grew up a little differently than I did. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a comfortable, middle class life. I went to summer camp, went cottaging, sailing…bla bla bla. But the people I was hanging out with on this particular day grew up VERY comfortable. Like ‘never having to work a day in their lives if they don’t want to’ comfortable.

So, I was at this party, in this two floor massive penthouse right downtown having a grand ole time, you know; hobnobbing, drinking Absinthe, telling jokes, laughing on the patio…when I got a chill (it was December). Luckily, one of the nice fellows at the party offered me his blazer so I wouldn’t be so cold.

After standing around talking for a while, without thinking I reached into the pocket and pulled out a business card. I asked the owner of the coat what the card was for.

He responded: ‘Oh that’s for my new Ferrari I just bought’

So, without thinking or even blinking, I announced to the entire circle we were standing in that:

“Oh…I drive a 1990 Topaz. Want to trade?”

What’s that all about? It was 2005 and I’m telling someone who just bought a NEW Ferrari that I drive a 15 year old rustmobile? And to top it off, asked him if he wanted to trade. Smooth move Woodall. Smooth move. Needless to say, no one asked for my phone number that night.

Nothing like getting pants’d

My 21st birthday was quite a series of fortunate and unfortunate events.

Fortunate:

  • My godparents gave me the best bottle of Champers I’ve had to date!
  • My friends from Windsor drove up to see me
  • My roommates hosted a mini-pre party before the real party
  • My boyfriend at the time (Darren) came up with a childhood friend of mine (let’s call him Carl Fyons)
  • We had a million people sleep over because the party was so good, including my roommates brother Jack

Unfortunate:

  • I was diagnosed with Mono that afternoon
  • When helping my boyfriend unpack the car, I took out bags that belonged to his friends that drove him to Guelph – they were on their way to a wedding near Toronto, and I took their suits on them…oops
  • Jack pants’d me
  • Carl Fyons saw my bird

So, because I had Mono, my boyfriend and I took off early from the bar to go to bed. When everyone came home they were all loud, drunk and still rowdy, so I went up to see how the rest of the night was.

Jack was passed out on one of the three couches in our living room, so I stood in front of him and was talking to the girls and Carl. Then all of a sudden, I felt a tug on my PJ’s and my pants were on the floor. I got pants’d. What’s that all about? Who pants a girl? Apparently Jack does.

With my bare bottom in Jack’s face and my lady parts exposed to the girls and Carl, I pulled my t-shirt down, sat on the couch and yelled to the room “Carl Fyons saw my bird”.

I wasn’t mad that Jack pants’d me, in truth it was really funny. But c’mon, who pants a girl?

My life??

First, I’d like to start this post with a giant apology as I haven’t written in what feels like ages. You see:

First my cat was sick. I pretty much fell apart and I got so stressed, that I lost a mini patch of hair (it’s growing back don’t you worry). I probably don’t need to tell you that I lost a patch of hair because my cat was sick, but I thought I should embrace my ‘crazy cat ladyness’ and just put it out there.

Second, I went on a MUCH needed vacation. Pretty much for the last couple of years I’ve been running on overdrive and as it turns out that I’m a giant stress bucket. (See above confession).

So…here’s my post:

I’m a bit of a day dreamer – I know you’re shocked by this. In high school, when the counselor asked me what I wanted to do, I had the hardest time deciding because as a child, I always just assumed I’d either a) be famous or b) working in the ‘biz’ in some way. The movie Superstar, was strangely close to my active imagination.

As you may already know, I’m a giant fan of the show Glee. It’s funny, it’s entertaining and it makes me smile week to week. One of the ways I wanted to ‘make it big’ was that I wanted to be in a musical or work on a musical. (Ideally, I would be the star – kidding…not really). I’ve always loved to perform and be apart of performances.

Anyway, I wanted to be in a musical so bad that two years ago I started to take ballroom dance lessons at Danceology.

I LOVED IT!

I loved it so much, that I started to go a minimum of 5 days a week. I would go for 1-2 hours every day after work, I’d go on Sunday’s and I’d go out Salsa dancing and swing dancing as my recreational activities.  I would also do performances – aka Dance Recitals.

The below video is of VERY POOR quality.

I also started to take singing lessons from my parents very talented friend; Opera Singer and voice coach (if that’s the incorrect term I’m sorry) – Jeanette Dagger.

So here’s the thing…Alexis Martin Woodall is the producer on the show Glee and every week, I see her name it taunts me. In all honesty I get a little (alright a lot) jealous every time I see her name in the credits. Woodall is not the most uncommon name in the book, but common…it’s not like it’s Smith. This other Woodall works day to day on the show Glee – my favourite show of all time. WTF.

Also, there’s a Trinny Woodall. Trinny Woodall was the host for What Not to Wear on the BBC. What’s that all about?

Wait for it…there’s more – there is a Jen Woodall who not only is hugely invovled in the Toronto fashion scene, but she does wardrobe on movie sets. I do wardrobe/hair/make-up on Nokia sets.

(I only did hair/make-up on this one).

Anyway, these amazing Woodall women are kicking ass in the ‘Biz’. They are living what I always dreamed of.  How is it, that these three women have jobs I would kill for AND they are Woodall’s? Can there be room for FOUR Woodall’s? Just sayin…that’s a little f-d.