Tag Archives: love

Dating = Drinking

Being the ripe ole age of 28 many of my friends are either LISING (aka. living in sin, aka. I’m joking about that term), may as well be LISING or married. So, that being said, I cannot count the times when my coupled off friends have made the comment ‘I haven’t had a drink in forever’ or ‘I haven’t been drunk in AGES’. I, myself am still single and therefore I go out on dates (some months more dates than others, but none-the-less, I am dating).

I’m not implying that I have a drinking problem or a dating problem  – I too will go AGES with out having a drink, however, when you’re dating…you’re drinking. What’s that all about? I will tell you.

Dating = Drinking – It’s a math equation:

1) First dates are awkward interviews. How many times have you been on an interview when you wished you could have a little drink to ease the stress?

2) Pretty much, until you’re ready to get down to business with someone, you want to be in a public setting – aka. Let’s meet for drinks.

3) Sad but true, having one or two drinks makes conversation easier. You’re more relaxed.

4) When it’s a bad date, a good drink can make it better.

5) Since there’s so much awkwardness around:

  • should we kiss?
  • should we not kiss?
  • should I invite him up?
  • should I not?
  • what will happen if I invite him up?
  • do I really want him to stay over?

5 – continued) Sad but true AGAIN, until you’re totally comfortable with someone, a light buzz makes all these decisions easier. It even makes a mad dash to the door a little easier – ex. ‘Oh there’s my cab, gotta go’ and then you bolt without even a high five.

So, when you are actively dating, like say a couple of dates a week, that means  you are having drinks a couple of times a week. So when you take that, and add it to your regular social life it equates to your liver wishing that you’d hurry up and find someone you like and are comfortable with because it’s sick of getting damaged, and your body’s tired of getting fat.

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NKOTB and me

When I was in grade four my mom took me, two girlfriends, my unwilling brother and my neighbbour to see the New Kids on the Block. PRETTY MUCH, at that point in my life, that was the most amazing night of my life. I was obsessed with them. I would take my plastic microphone and speaker and sing at the top of my lungs to every part, especially Joey’s. I would be jealous of the girls in my class that had better/more paraphernalia than I did. I envisioned my future, where I would tour with them, be married to Joey, and occasionally accompany them in a song or two. Yeah…it was like an Elvis type crush. Borderline nutzo.

The next time I saw them, it was towards the end of their era, and I didn’t really like them anymore because…well, it wasn’t cool. At this concert, I was sick and fell asleep at one point – WE were in the 10th row. What’s that all about? They were still AMAZING. But, there was zero cool factor at the time and I, like most pre-teens was desperate to be cool.

Then, September 2008 came along. They came back.

It. Was. Incredible. AND they were starting their tour in Toronto. Unfortunately, I had missed the boat on getting tickets for the concert and was pretty upset with myself. Then one day Natalie from work said “do you want to go the NKOTB concert for free and will you write an article for an online magazine?”.  I said ” uh…YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!”

First I had to find the perfect outfit (what if I meet them? – yes, I thought this). Then I headed to the concert. PS. I was by myself. When the concert started I was in complete and total awe. I fell back in love with Joey McIntyre.  I’d look at the stage, look at the big screen, stage, big screen, I was so over stimulated, I felt like a 13 year old. The crazy thing was, they actually preformed. I was a little worried, that they wouldn’t have ‘it’ any more because it had been so long, but they were incredible. The dancing, the light show, the stages – it was fabulous.

The above moment is now the actual best moment of my life – wish I was kidding.

Once again, as a grown up, I am obsessed with NKOTB. So when they came back to Toronto the following  summer I went with some friends (not a total loser that time). We had lawn seats at the Molson Amplitheatre. And again…love and awe. I have never seen  or will ever see so many women between the ages of 25-35 in one place.

We are all crazy.

Giddy, excitable woman everywhere. Felt like a slumber party in high school.

It was so much fun, that Megan and I (a roommate from uni) vowed to each other, that we would go together to see the New Kids every time they come to Toronto (provided we still live in the GTA) for the rest of our lives.

So, here we are – another concert. On June 10th, the Casino Rama will be seeing my face all over their hotel as I will be trying to find Joey’s room. Just kidding, he’s married (I think). If Kelly Taylor can meet Color Me Bad, then I can meet NKOTB!

3 Kinds of Men – theories from my early 20’s

In university, my roommates and I came up with a theory. Our theory was that in our long quest for love, essentially, we are looking for a Dolphin. You see, Dolphins mate for life. And since they mate for life and since we were mermaids, this all made sense. Right?

Holy crap, we were weird!

Anyway, one afternoon  I was heading to the bus because I was skipping one of my classes when I ran into one of the girls and decided to go to her class instead. As I sat beside Melissa, I decided to write her a short story about her meeting her ‘dolphin’.

This is when the 3 Kinds of Men theory unraveled itself;  I will explain:

The Dolphin

The Dolphin is the kind of guy you end up with. He’s the guy who calls you back, buys you flowers, understands your craziness and loves you for it. The thing about Dolphins is that although you may have found a Dolphin, he may not be your Dolphin. If you discover this, you need to set him free as you are keeping a lovely Mermaid away from her MFL (mate for life).

The Shark

The Shark is the playboy. He’s the guy who every girl wants and he’s probably already slept with half your friends. He’s openly a dirtbag and you can’t get mad at him for it. He owns it. If you do get hurt by a Shark, it’s your own fault as you saw all the warning signs…as in he told you that he has a million girls on the go.

There is a slight disclaimer with Sharks, some say that  a Shark could stop being a Shark and become a Dolphin. I’ve never seen it, but if someone ever nails down George Clooney for good, then we’ll know.

The Swordfish

The Swordfishes are the worst of the bunch.

You see, Swordfishes dress up in Dolphin masks. They start off with all the flowers, all the door opening, all the calling…BUT THEN the serrated edge of their nose cuts through the Dolphin mask and you are left with cuts and wounds all over your person. What’s that all about? Rather than being a Shark and owning their DIRTBAGGERY, they hide behind having a girlfriend all the while having ‘girls on the side‘.

Big warning sign – THIS IS HIS FAVOURITE SONG

Anyway…this isn’t for real. It’s just silly, early 20’s nonsense.

I’d love to hear the ‘3 Kinds of Women’ as a rebuttal.