Step 1. Meet someone, Step 2. Google them

Damn that Google machine.

Part of my job is to find people. My boss will say: “I want the contact information of the brand manager at blabla(big brand here)” and because of my savvy Googling techniques, I can find them. I’m pretty confident, that if you give me a week I can find out information on anyone. Google stalking is quite the skill set that I have acquired.

The problem with this, is that my Google-stalk goes into my personal life. Now, when I meet someone new, if I think of it when I’m bored, I’ll Google them…and once I start Googling, there’s nothing that can hold me back.

Pretty much, I like most other single females commence market research on the new potential people in my life. Here are some of the things I look for:

1. Are they on facebook?
2. Do we have mutual friends?
3. Are our mutual friends people I think highly of?
4. Are they on twitter? What do they tweet about?
5. Any public nudity?
6. Have the been published?
7. Are they on Linkedin (do they really work where they say they work)?
8. Did anyone recommend them?
9. Have they been involved in any public scandals?
10. Are they criminals?

I realize that there are a few of you reading this that are like ‘what’s that all about?’ this girl’s crazy. I admit that part of that statement is true however –  to all my male friends that are less crazy, and my long coupled off girlfriends…this is just what WE do (WE being most single ladies). This is so common, that they talk about Googling people in movies, magazines…even on the Tyra Banks show, Fox, and CNN. That’s right people CNN.

We live in an age of information, so why wouldn’t you gather as much information that’s available?

Here’s why – LinkedIn. Don’t go there. This ‘research’ that you are gathering on your new interest is quasi normal (emphasis on quasi), however…on LinkedIn, they can see who clicked on their profile. Which means…they can see that YOU Google-stalked them. So you go from harmlessly looking up your potential suitor, to crazy psycho girl.

And the fact that it takes away from the excitement of it all. But goodness, pressing SEARCH can be so much fun!

The Paris Hilton Effect

Rehab

Rehab

Rehab

Rehab

Rehab

Rehab

What’s that all about?

Be Tina Fey!

Mean Girls came out in 2004 and that was the moment when my love for Tina Fey became real. How could one person encompass what it truly was like to be a teenage girl in an overly exaggerated way. It was brilliant. She was brilliant. I decided at that point, that I wanted to be her. She’s essentially the coolest girl on the block. It doesn’t even matter what block it is, if she’s on it, she’s the coolest!

In my high school experience, I wasn’t the coolest girl, but I did alright for myself (my parents had a pool and they went away a lot). Anyway there were countless moments in her movie that I’m pretty sure she stole from my life:

• Girls saying ‘irregardless’
• Being told I couldn’t wear an outfit because it was similar to another girls (hello…it was a Christmas present)
• Being totally mortified by every thing my parents did
• Having a girl try to punch me in the head because I was ‘talking’ with her EX boyfriend. Please note a) I said talking, b) I said ex boyfriend – they dated for two months – What’s that all about? Do I look like the scrappy type?
• Having the same girl point out that she was ‘pretty’ and I was ‘ugly’ – I wasn’t uggo, this girl was just a giant B-word!

Anyway, at that moment I fell in love! (Non-sexual love, but love none-the-less)

A few years later, I was out with some friends, when one of their husbands said I reminded him of Tina Fey. BEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE! Pretty much, that dude is now my favourite person of all time. How did he know?!!

So on Monday, I headed to the movies to see Date Night, and once again BRILLIANT. I laughed so hard that when I left my face hurt from smiling.

Two words: SEX ROBOTS!

However, I realized something when I got home. Maybe I shouldn’t want to ‘Be Tina Fey’ (there really can only be one), but maybe I should emulate her strength and perseverance. She is after all an amazing female role-model: intelligent, beautiful, witty (out right hilarious) and amazingly confident.

Really, I think she should be a role-model for a lot of women. She’s good at what she does, and seems as though she has fun doing it. She’s a much better role-model all those cracked out little tweeny boppers – sorry LiLo…but seriously, get your act together! I loved you in Mean Girls.

Ps. I want to marry Will Ferrell too. One major problem, he’s already married and I’m half serious. He’s just pee your pants funny, the kind of funny you want to grow old with!